#twentyfirstofseptember

"I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones,

Enough to make my system blow

Welcome to the new age, to the new age

Welcome to the new age, to the new age

Whoa, oh,oh,oh,oh whoa,oh,oh,oh, I'm radioactive,

radioactive"

 Umur semakin meningkat,
Future masih kelam and aku masih tak tahu apa nak jadi aku esok, lusa, tulat dan seterusnya. Bila fikirkan future pasti aku akan rasa guitly, curious, and takleh move on. Kekadang aku pandang muka ksygn pasti aku tertanya "mampukah aku bahagiakan dorg atleast sekali seumur hidup?" .


Umur semakin meningkat,
Iman aku masih turun naik. Ye iman manusia takkan fix baik jeeeeee , and takkan juga fix jahat jeeee. But aku tak rasa aku semakin ke arah positif. Aku more rasa aku berada di tengah tengah garisan antara baik dan jahat, apa aku maksudkan idok le jahat tahap petala atas. Jahat more ke nakal. Cehhh still mende tak elok kan ?

Umur semakin meningkat,
Buat aku sedar pada hari jadi jangan mengharap apa-apa. Totally like jangan harap org wish kau dengan ikhlas sometimes dorang wish just for sedapkan hati "org hari jadi ". Untuk aku, terasa better jangan wish dr "hi happy birthday !" done . I hoping atleast terselit "may Allah bless you".

Umur semakin meningkat,
I know yang pasti aku makin bergerak mendekati ajal. Aku sedar tanggungjawab aku makin bertambah, makin banyak benda aku kena terokai. Dulu waktu kecil selalu berdoa nak cepat besar, nak cepat dewasa. Sekarang nak jadi budak , nak main , tanak tahu tanggungjawab . Sesungguhnya hidup ini memang mencabar. Sangat

Happy bornday, Happy birthday :')

credit: thank you abah and mama 

"If I told you what I was,

Would you turn your back on me?

And if I seem dangerous

Would you be scared?

I get the feeling just because 

Everything I touch isn't dark enough 

If this problem lies in me"

please

credit pakcik gugel

Assalamualaikum , 

perasaan aku makin teruk hari makin hari, aku fikir bila aku dah mula minat jurusan nie aku takkan rasa camnie. Nayyyy for me, bila datang pula masalah kawan like 

"BRUHHHH I'M SOOOO DONE!!!!".

and boleh tak sesiapa volunteer pimpin tangan aku untuk keluar dari sini.

Ya Rabb, aku penat sangat dengan semua nie. bila aku sedar yang aku takkan jumpa kawan aku perangai yang sempoi ,coolio cam budak kuale. Damn aku rindu dorg like terabyte punya rindu. Aku buntu when come nak confess kat parents "boleh tak nak keluar dari sini?".

Kalau dapat kawan yang sempoi, coolio tapi jurusan tak leh go. Still aku rasa aku akan cuba sehabis mungkin nak adapt, ini kawan aku rasa kawan tp hakikat buat aku rasa I'M LONELY MANNNN... 

Satu persatu dia cerita , aku dengar tapi aku tahu aku tanak jadi "just" tukang dengar. Aku nak friendship yang "give and take" . Until now aku still terasa aku banyak take dari give. Screww me

Aku penat menangis ,aku penat nak sembunyikan diri selama nie, aku penat pendam rasa, aku penat fikir kesenangan orang sampai aku makan hati. Aku Penat, 

A letter for "anggota badan"

Credit to Pakcik Gugel

Assalamualaikum, baca blog orang sana-sini terasa nak juga hidupkan kembali blog yang sekian lama ditinggalkan. sobs sobs


Dear "anggota badan",
maafkan aku wahai tangan sbb selalu paksa buat benda yg tak sepatutnya
maafkan aku wahai mata sbb selalu keluarkan air mata sampai tersedu-sedu
maafkan aku wahai jantung sbb selalu memendam perasaan sampai palpitation *.*


Guitlt?
Rasa bersalah sebab paksa diri sendiri buat sesuatu bende yang kau sendiri tak jangka nak buat.
Rasa bersalah sebab kau mimpikan mende lain tp kau stuck dekat somewhere yang kau rasa tak belong kat sini.
Rasa bersalah sbb kau takleh nak cari jalan keluar sbb hampir semua orang point to you "eh kau yang nak semua ni, " "eh eh bukan haritu nak sgt ke masukk".

It's hurt ? Lillahitaala ,
Sakit nak hadapkan subjek yang susah.
Sakit takleh nak luah kat family member sbb semua point kau "hadap jela, buat lah sampai minat" .
Sakit sebab kau sedar kau keseorangan tercampak di sini, kena adapt semuanya :')
Just think for a minute, kalau ada di tempat aku dimana kau ada peluang untuk buat pilihan tetapi kau takde hak .

Aku tak pernah terfikir nak masuk sini belajar mende yang aku sendiri tahu yang aku tak mampu hadap nnti. Masa depan lagi , sekarang zaman dah maju bukan zaman Steve Jobs-cari-idea-untuk-keluarkan-personal laptop(imac//lisa comp). Bukan bukan zaman sekarang aku terfikir yang tak perlukan pun IT degree sebab basic , tutorial semua mende ada dalam google. Sama ada kau nak explore atau tak.

Aku benci keadaan sekarang , aku benci aku takleh bersuara , aku benci aku kena paksa diri aku untuk belajar apa mende tah. Kalau ikutkan kawan aku suruh stop terus, sebab makin lama kau stay , makin lama kau kena makan duit pitypityn. Like mende tu aku sebolehnya taknak terjadi tapi dengan semua orang point kau camnie apa semua . Dorang tak terfikir keadaan sebenar aku . Aku teringin nak duduk sekali bincang semuanya bagi kira settle tp  aku tahu mende tu takkan terjadi . Knowing them buat kau rasa better alone telan dari muntah semuanya.


Aku tergelak sebab aku jadi cengeng , for the first time aku menangis sebab pelajaran.



0921
180116

POEM -Are We In Love ?

Poem - Are we in love?
Words and performed by Ameen Misran
*Inspired by Hilal Asyraf's "Awak, kita ini bercintakah?"

I have never held your hands so far,
or looked into your eyes to say how beautiful you are,
We have never gone out together
we rarely exchange love letters together.

The only means of communication between us are,
through text messages, social media and a couple of phone calls,
when I tweet, you retweet,
when I post a status on facebook, you like,
but should it be just like that?
Love and affection should be more than that.

We are in a relationship
but why do I feel like everything between us is restricted?
It feels like I'm losing you.

I can't see you unless there's company from a third party,
I can't have dinner with you unless there's intervention from our families.

Exist such distance between our hearts,
and barriers since the very start.
Our separation sometimes makes me scared,
Are we in love?
Are we really, really in love?

----------------------------------------­----

Yes I know I'm wrong,
I was just carried away,
seeing all the couples out there,
at the park, at the restaurant, at the movie theater,
caressing each other,
hugging and kissing like no other,
man! That is romantic!
This is love!

Seeing all at that, 
makes me deprived of my love story,
I've always wanted an ideal love story like in the movies,
but I need to stop and let it go,
Because after every rainfall must come a rainbow.

I got to be patient,
the sweetness of happiness is always best tasted after we are tested,
this is not what Allah wants,
this not what the prophet wants,
this is not what we want.
Allah says that:


قُلْ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ


Say, [O Muhammad], "If you should love Allah , then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful" (Ali-Imran: 31).

Following the prophet is what we should do,
never ever give in to the feelings that aren't true.

This is not our time to go beyond the boundaries,
but it's time for us to be equipped with all the needed "expertise",
we got to master a wide range of skills,
financial management, anger management,
Children's education, automotive skills, 
Cooking skills, house-keeping skills,
without these we are killed.

In time, we will be united finally,
and we aspire to build an extraordinary family,
with amazing children who will become leaders of the community,
the awesome leaders of the Ummah.

That destiny starts before we are married,
I cannot imagine us making sins before the day we are united.

Love is everything that brings us closer to Allah,
and whatever brings us further from Allah is not love.

Never get married because of jealousy,
but get married once we can confirm the responsibility.


p/s : that's why ask yourself what's ur situation are ? are we couple hugging , kissing like teens nowadays ? or we are lover that keep our distance to make sure our pure love accepted by Allah , ask ur iman , ask ur heart :')